05.28.2025 Fetal Position, Hair Dye and Cheeseburgers

Fetal Position, Hair Dye and Cheeseburgers 128 Podcast and Blog May 28, 2025

Tiffany's 128 Initiative 

I have always heard that smell is the strongest trigger to bring forth memories but for me it is sound, particularly music.  I know that is a cliche’ and I wish it was smell because it sure would make my life a little more endurable.   It has been over a year and a half since “that day”, and if you are wondering what “that day” refers to, it is probably best you go back and read or listen to the previous 128 Blogs or 128 Podcasts.  Since “that day” my car radio has barely been able to play anything but National Public Radio.  I am not hating on NPR and in fact I have come to not only enjoy it but also love it.  In one way NPR has saved me from crying myself off the road and plowing into oncoming traffic. But just when I think I am able to turn the dial to a regular radio station, some song will come on and then on comes the tears. It is those tears and those songs that dictate the topics for the Month of May, and those topics happen to be about the fetal position, hair dye and cheeseburgers. 

I am Tiffany Elizabeth Tipton, founder of Tiffany’s 128 Initiative, formerly known as Tiffany’s JAG Initiative.  With a new partnership comes a new name. The number 128 was chosen for the 1 hour and 28 minutes I was left to die after begging for help and my life from the very two people who were supposed to love me most in the world and knew me for 33 years of my life.  The focus of Tiffany’s 128 Initiative is still the same Justice Advocacy and Guidance for victims and survivors of domestic/family and gun violence.  Thank you for giving me your ears or eyes today and my goal of the 128 podcasts and blogs are to serve as a guidebook and hope for others.

So, there I am, head back, staring at the ceiling which has these very large flowers painted on it. My hair is wet, and I can't really move much, plus there is someone on each side of me.  Please God, just give me the strength to hold it together. Even as I was praying, I could feel warm tears streaming down my check.  The more I prayed the more tears that fell.  I tried to wipe them without anyone seeing me while at the same time I was trying to keep my face from betraying me. There were about twenty or so people mimicking hummingbirds as they went about their tasks.  “When your legs don’t work like they used to before” as soon as I heard that I was close to screaming out loud while Ed Sheeran was just Thinking Out Loud.  The song ended finally, that Ed Sheeran song was over, the one my husband played for us to dance to on a dirt road.  My heart began to beat a little less and then “where are you going?”  Impossible, the very next song playing on the radio was the very next song he played for us to dance to that night. Come on Dave Matthew, not again. The memories from that night flooded every inch of my veins.  Just as Dave Matthews was still looking for those answers to the questions under the stars, I was looking for answers to what happened to us since we danced under the stars. I had about 10 more minutes before my conditioning hair treatment would be ready to rinse out and I wasn’t going to make it.

I had no idea how many employees knew my husband had been arrested, I had been in a domestic violence shelter, and I had been shot in both legs.  That I was left to bleed to death & die by the very two people who were supposed to have loved me for 33 years of life. It would not surprise me that everyone at the salon probably knew by the time I left that day.  How could you not ask why that woman was crying in the middle of getting her hair dyed.  Was she unhappy with the color? Unhappy with the cut? 

The precious little assistant that was going to be drying my hair was kind and compassionate. She scooped me up, took me to a private room and slid the door shut.    I apologized for crying and went to explain how Ed Sheeran and Dave Matthews had broken my heart but at least I was not in the corner in a fetal position crying this time when I heard those songs. She had heard my story of domestic abuse and said one of the most profound but heartbreaking things I have heard since I began my journey of physical and mental healing.  She put her hand on my shoulder and said “Its Ok, I am part of that community too, and unfortunately it is a large community of women. I sometimes cry when I order a cheeseburger and don't get cheese on it.”  I looked at her big, beautiful eyes and she was so young, barely 20 years old if that but I could see the same pain and fear in her eyes I still see in mine and other victims of domestic and family violence.  I was 49 years old when “that day” happened and now I am 51, not too many more years of romance are in play and certainly childbearing age is out of the question. But she literally had an entire life before her, and would that entire life be stained by the abuse she experienced?  Would another generation of women have to struggle to escape the sins committed by the person or persons who were supposed to love them always and forever?

As of today, I do not have the answers, but I know if I can help just one woman that can be generational change.  I still cry, I still cry for my children, I still cry for the marriage that is no more, and I still cry that I have not seen justice come full circle.   Just recently a grand jury indicted my ex-husband for the charges he was arrested for and he will be arraigned next month.  I do not have to be present for his arraignment but every time he is in court I am going to be there too.  I am going to be there standing for myself and standing for others you cannot stand for themselves. I will speak truth to power, I will speak about how I was left to die so when I do die, the power behind the truth will live on.  But today at least I am not in the fetal position crying over songs I hear, while getting my hair dyed and wondering how many other women cry when they order a cheeseburger and don't get cheese on it. 

I am Tiffany Elizabeth Tipton, founder of Tiffany's 128 Initiative. My 128 Podcasts are released the last Tuesday of every month, and my 128 Blog is posted on the last Wednesday of month and serves as a follow up to the responses of my podcast. All of my 128 Podcasts and 128 Blogs are free from AI and are my personal memories, thoughts and experiences Stay Safe, Stay Informed, Stay Alert but most importantly Stay Rooted In Love.